Yesterday was one of those milestone days. Our neighbors, Denise & Jan moved. We are so excited for them to be new homeowners nearby. But selfishly we will miss seeing them often right next door. They have truly been neighbors who became beloved friends.
Our family has been blessed immensely by Denise & Jan in so many ways over the years. Memories of those times make me thankful for their friendship. They are two people who always step up for their friends without being asked.
One of the memories etched on my heart is the time our young chosen child, Ashley went next door to ask Jan to adopt her sister. I think Ashley might have been nine at the time. A judge had made a legal split between the sisters before we met Ashley. This meant they could not live together as minors.
Ashley decided it made perfect sense for our beloved neighbors to adopt her sister since she couldn’t live with us. After all, they were nice, had good food, dogs, TV, fun cars and they lived next door! Ashley knocked on Jan’s door and made her adoption pitch. Ashley said “do you want to adopt a kid?” to Jan. I can only imagine the look on Jan’s face! Jan asked if Ashley was in trouble at home. In response, Ashley began explaining that she wanted Jan & Denise to adopt her sister. Ashley started her heartfelt talk by saying she wanted her sister to have a family to love her. No doubt it took a ton of courage for Ashley to ask for help for her sister.
Jan listened to our daughter tell about how she missed her sister and didn’t have any other family in the world she could see. Jan told Ashley she was a good sister for wanting to help. Jan went on to say how she couldn’t adopt a child because she worked, traveled a lot and had to take good care of her dogs. Ashley was able to accept Jan’s answer when Jan explained about the dogs. Ashley adored Jan’s dogs and took great delight in being given permission to pet them.
Jan walked Ashley home and explained their conversation. My heart melted. I totally understood why Ashley chose our beloved neighbors to be a family for her sister. I sincerely wish it had happened. Kids have a good sense about who people really are at the end of the day. Ashley knew she could trust Jan & Denise to love her beloved sister in all the ways she deserved.
The sad thing is Ashley’s sister went into foster care when she was two years four months old and aged out of foster care at age eighteen. This should NEVER happen to a child!
Raising a child with special needs meant there were times (too many times) when we needed mental health services for our daughter. You would be shocked and saddened to know how scarce those services are for children, preteens and teenagers. We learned the hard way by turning to Comcare Crisis Center numerous times. We did not ever go there and find a bed available for our child. Most times we sat, waited, calmed down and went back home without a resolution on how to help her.
When things began to escalate because she had an undiagnosed mental health issue, we knew hospitalization was necessary. The first time, she was sent six hours away and the place was a nightmare.
We fought back and brought Ashley home. A new physiological evaluation revealed why some of the behaviors were happening. New meds and the smartest Psychiatrist, Dr. Rex Lear who is the Medical Director at Comcare in Wichita, Kansas helped us navigate our new normal.
Dr. Lear and his nurse, Susan Karrenbrock became a lifeline for Ashley when medication needed to be adjusted. Teen hormones meant psych meds required adjustments on a regular basis.
The first time Ashley needed to be hospitalized locally for a medication evaluation by Dr. Lear, we had waited for at least twelve hours for a bed to open up for her. Ashley was exhausted, scared and frustrated. I was too! We prayed together and God delivered a miracle almost immediately. Our neighbor, Denise who had just graduated from college was assigned to Ashley’s case. Because we are friends, another social worker was assigned to work with Ashley. Denise continued to let Ashley know she was going to get help and feel better soon.
This hospitalization was a positive experience and turned the tide for Ashley. We are so thankful. For many living with mental health issues, a trip to the hospital is avoided at all costs. The statistics on those who don’t seek care and treatment are heartbreaking. We’ll always be grateful to Denise for teaching teenage Ashley it’s a good and right thing to get mental health help when it is needed.
I can’t count the number of times Denise & Jan cooked homemade soup when I was really sick. Jan trudging in the snow to deliver my care package of hot soup is etched on my heart. The love cooked into the soup helped in ways you can’t imagine unless you have been loved so deeply by a friend or family member. Denise’s homemade soup helped me through the toughest four years of my life as I was diagnosed and began treatment for a genetic Immune Deficiency disease.
We will miss the friendly greetings from the front and back yards. The impromptu porch gatherings and giggles with our beloved neighbors were always so much fun. I can’t forget to mention Jan’s crush on our neurotic Boston Terrier, Dr. Rooney who only loves women brings lots of fun memories to mind.
Needless to say, there are more every day memories of our times with these amazing women that we will miss. We’ve been assured Riverside is their neighborhood and they’ll be back often for visits. No doubt we’ll be invited to their new home soon also.
Admittedly a new season of life has arrived. It is exciting and full of promise with new memories to be made. I am praying it’s the best season yet for Jan & Denise who deserve every happiness.
We are praying for the new neighbors who will become part of our wonderful Riverside neighborhood. We can’t wait to welcome you home!
Blessings, Nancy
#neighbors #friends #friendship #newseasonoflife #moving #newhome #marriage #kindness #mentalhealth #socialworker #homemadesoup #adoption #wantakid #adoptmysister #comcare #psychiatrist #wichita #kansas #riverside
Family Memory Keeper 