Author Archives: Nancy ~ she/her/hers

BIRTHDAYS: May 7th will always be a sentimental day for me. It was our Daddy’s birthday. One of my nephew’s was born on May 7th. Our Mother’s second husband was born on May 7th too. This day is filled with memories. Our Daddy passed away twenty years ago but I still do something to honor his life on his birthday. I try to eat Watermelon or really good Strawberry Ice Cream which were two of his favorite treats. I may plant something depending upon the weather. I reflect back on go fishing at our Cousin Wylie’s near Dexter, Kansas. I remember being loved unconditionally. Here are some memories about our Daddy. Like life, some are fun and happy, others are hard and sad. Through it all, I always knew I was loved and cared about by my Daddy.

MISCHIEVOUS / RISK TAKER I’ve been told our Daddy, John Houston was a fun loving mischievous little boy and teenager who skipped school to go fishing and perhaps a few other things. John was a cute little boy and grew into a tall handsome teenager with a smile that charmed many pretty women. John loved telling a good story and enjoyed a witty joke. Our Daddy was a lifelong learner and encouraged learning in his children by his example and filling our family home with encyclopedias, dictionaries and lots of books to read. John loved the public library. John read several sets of encyclopedias cover to cover. Frankly, I didn’t know other people didn’t do this. I grew up learning to do it too. Nerdy, yup but people the internet just wasn’t a thing back then. In fact, our nerdy Daddy is the first person to tell me about this magical new invention. I am so glad he did, because I love the internet too.

PERFECTIONIST Daddy pushed himself hard and was a perfectionist about his work. If you asked other ironworkers, like my brother, Scott, they would say “John Houston’s a phenomenal welder but too much of a daredevil and risk taker.” Daddy had high expectations for all of us, but looking back, it was especially hard for our brother. It wasn’t easy being John Houston’s daughter either, because Daddy was pretty old fashioned about his daughters. More about that another day! Badass John Houston was a hard act to follow, for any man especially John’s son! Not everyone needs or wants to glisten like a Peacock in the brightest sunlight professionally. On the job, I’m told, Daddy was quite competitive. This seems interesting to me now as a retired Human Resources Manager. I like to plan things and know when I was going to get paid. Maybe our Daddy’s career was why. John Houston grew up knowing he wasn’t going to be a poor Kansas dirt farmer. John wanted an exciting life on the “A Team”. John wanted to travel and work on exciting jobs. He didn’t want to struggle like his hard working farming parents had, to just feed their children. Not to mention, cutting wheat, sorghum and alfalfa made John truly miserable. John had undiagnosed allergies growing up on a small farm near Dexter, Kansas.

WELDING I imagine our Daddy learned to weld on the farm when he was growing up. Most farmers learn welding as a matter of necessity to maintain their farm equipment. Daddy went on to become a certified welder and eventually a Journeyman Welder who could weld with military clearance on amazing buildings and structures across the United States. I loved to hear Daddy retell his memories of working on those “big jobs” like the Alaska Pipeline, Marvin Gardens in New York City, Pizza Hut’s first Corporate Office, Missile Bases in Wichita, Kansas and the John Hancock Tower in Chicago, Illinois. Daddy and the other men on the job watched as the now famous iconic untitled Picasso sculpture was erected beside the 100 floor building the ironworkers were welding together. To a little girl from Wichita, Kansas that was totally mind blowing! I had no idea that artists made modern art sculptures out of the same type of steel our Daddy used to build tall skyscrapers. This was one of my favorite buildings Daddy ever worked on. I mentioned John was a risk taker. John did the air conditioner towers on the very top of the 100 story building! I had never seen anything so tall in my life. As a grown woman, I loved to tell Daddy, I’d flown into Midway Airport on business trips and seen his building glistening in the Chicago skyline. John was always delighted.

Here is the link for Picasso’s iconic untitled beloved sculpture: https://www.chicago.gov/city/en/depts/dca/supp_info/chicago_s_publicartthepicassountitledsculpture.html

IRONWORK The years of doing an incredibly physically taxing job like ironworking and welding before many labor saving devices became standard procedure for steel erection caused John a lifetime of serious back problems. John had back surgery several times and lived with a great deal of pain. Our Daddy’s pain influenced my sister, Rebecca’s career choice, she became a Chiropractor and opened her own business, Jordan Chiropractic. Rebecca wanted to help Daddy and others who live with chronic pain. My oldest nephew, Drew followed in his parent’s footsteps and now he’s my Chiropractor at Jordan Chiropractic.

PAIN MANAGEMENT Daddy started having serious pain issues around 1968. Pain management was not available yet and unqualified physicians prescribed pain medication in large bottles without much patient education. The long term effects of mixing alcohol and painkillers were hard on people like John. Our Mother, even after all these years says “Your Daddy always got up to go to work because he loved you five kids, no matter how much he hurt.” I believe Daddy became addicted because he was physically hurting so badly. These were very hard years for my parents and us five kids. Daddy was in so much pain and nothing ever made the pain go away. By 1974, the pain and the addiction had torn our family apart.

SOBER Divorce is hard on everyone. Really hard. Daddy moved around the country for several years working on ironworking jobs. His heart was broken and John didn’t know how to overcome the challenges in his life. Eventually, he met Beverly. She loved John with all of her big southern heart. Beverly told John and everyone else that she didn’t allow alcohol in her home and she meant it. With Beverly’s loving help and strong determination, John got sober.

RETIREMENT Life with Beverly was so different than the tumultuous years we had lived through as a family. I was so glad John had finally met a woman who loved and adored him. Beverly was firm but she took loving care of Daddy in the ways he needed it in this season of life. John’s smile and confidence returned again. John loved Beverly deeply and we learned about her amazing southern cooking and artistic talents. Beverly had the ability to make Daddy’s home truly his castle. It was always tastefully decorated and she and Daddy worked together on small projects to make it cozy. I think life with Beverly was some of Daddy’s happiest years. I wish he’d have found Beverly much earlier in his life.

LAST VISIT Daddy had lived life always pushing the envelope and taking risks. No doubt some of you reading this might be saying so that’s where Nancy get’s that impulsive boldness from her Daddy. You are probably correct. Around Christmas 2002, I got a call from Beverly telling me “you better fly to Georgia now, the doctor doesn’t think your Daddy is going to make it through the day.” My sister, Rebecca and I flew to Atlanta and then drove to the hospital where Daddy was at on dialysis. When the doctor was explaining how there was no urination and he recommended turning off life support, my sister and I started weeping. I looked up and urine was flowing into the bag like crazy. I screamed to the doctor, “you’ve made a mistake!” Daddy perked up, opened his eyes, gave that charming Houston smile and said “I love you Little Red Hen”! Over the next few days, Rebecca and I sang to Daddy, put girlie smelling chapstick on his parched lips, lotion on his hands and feet and retold his favorite family stories. At one point, Rebecca said if you tell Daddy the camping story with the fake bear in the tent, I may not be responsible for hurting you!! Do not repeat it again. Daddy realized it was almost Christmas and he told us to go home. I went out in the hallway and wept. I knew in my heart I was not going to see him again. I did not want to leave. But the big strong giant of a man who had raised us, laid in that hospital bed, told Rebecca and I to go home and love on our families. Daddy said we would talk by phone.

DADDY LOVES YOU The phone calls from the hospital always started out with this phrase “Daddy love you”. I began to wonder if it was because Daddy started sounding so much weaker. I begged to come down again. Daddy said “no”. I was heartbroken but knew he was tired and worn out and I finally had to say, “it’s ok to fly, Daddy, we’re gonna see each other in Heaven” I told yDaddy how much we all loved him and thanked him for loving us. The morning on February 7, 2003, the hospital phoned to tell me Daddy’s had gone to be with Jesus. I had been in the shower before the phone rang. I had felt a “whish through me” before I answered the phone. I met my brother and sisters who live locally to talk about a memorial service for Daddy. It seemed so unreal. I was forty-seven. I truly wish we’d had a lot more time together. The thing I’ve come to believe is when you know someone, really know them, they are always with you in spirit. I can’t wait until we get to meet up in the next life. I miss talking with one of the smartest guys I’ve ever known. We miss you, Daddy. I take comfort in knowing as Christians, we’ll meet again. We always feel you are nearby keeping watch over your Little Red Hen and your four beloved children. 💞

#daddy #memories #ironworker #hardwork #divorce #pain #alcohol #painkillers #addiction #heartbreak #sadness #happiness #goodmemories #families #stepfamilies #stepmother #stepfather #retirement #sober #painmanagement #johnhancock #welder #risktaker #daddysgirl